Dreading work

When staff ask

“How was your weekend”

I will feign a fake smile

And say

“It was great”

It wasn’t great

It was sad

Save for a few hours

When I tried to gift two people

But instead they cleaned out my horse trailer 

And paid me for the transportation 

I tried to refuse, but they forced it on me

*********

Why do we lie?

Is it really a lie

If we are trying to save another

From grief

Disappointment 

Sadness?

*******

I’m sad to be alone again

I realized that it wasn’t me

But it still feels like I wasn’t good enough